(910): You went to jail last night?!

(1-910): Just a little bit.

(585):

I came in your room, you looked at me and said “I fucked up” and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital

(480): Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says “Makes a bad ass look good”

(949): I’m afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.

(402): Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !

(404): There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

[Image: Harry grinning and looking towards Ron’s butt.]

(818): I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.

[Image: Harry Potter is SO ANGRY!]

(313): I wish I could punch you in the face.

(847): but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that’s gotta count for somethin

(931): My mother’s day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I’ve accumulated in my life.