(865): I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved
(609): You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for “a scavenger hunt” and then called him a “fuckstained Muggle” when he didn’t give it to you. You are a delight.
(310): Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
(204): you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I’m not surprised you got arrested.
(+44): Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Tumblr was dumb and ate the credits of the last submission. Can you tell me your info again so I can credit you, submitter?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
(207): My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
(631): His penis is small and he doesn’t like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE